Development, Fitness, General, Self
0

Build Body

Since I started working from home, I’ve noticed that I’m quickly sliding back into a sedentary lifestyle.  I’ve purchased and haphazardly assembled a sit/stand desk that I enjoy greatly, but there is of course always the desire to do JUST a bit more.

Once upon a time, I had dreamt up a system to use while playing MMORPG’s wherein a person would enter the level their character had just achieved and be presented with a quick workout to perform as celebration (punishment?) for the effort.  It was at the very least amusing to my friends and I, and that’s about all the motivation I need to attempt anything.

So in the same vein, let’s just dive right in!  I’ll call this “Build Body” and hope the Beach Body people don’t find a reason to be unhappy with me.

The System

The table should be self-explanatory, but just in case you’re a person who wants the bullet-points:

  • Wait until a build has completed
  • Tally all exercises based on the build results
    • If you had a build with 2 commits and no failures, you would do:
      • 9 pushups (5 for build + 2 * 2 for commits)
      • 20 crunches (10 for build + 5 * 2 for commits)
      • 20 air squats (10 for build + 5 * 2 for commits)
      • 20 jumping jacks (10 for build + 5 * 2 for commits)
    • If you had a build with 1 commit and a failure with 2 tests failing, you would do:
      • 30 pushups (5 for build + 2 * 1 for commits + 15 for failed build + 4 * 2 for test failures)
      • 65 crunches (10 for build + 5 * 1 for commits + 30 for failed build + 10 * 2 for test failures)
      • 65 air squats (10 for build + 5 * 1 for commits + 30 for failed build + 10 * 2 for test failures)
      • 65 jumping jacks (10 for build + 5 * 1 for commits + 30 for failed build + 10 * 2 for test failures)
      • 18 burpees (10 for failed build + 4 * 2 for test failures)
  • Perform exercises to the best of your ability
  • Decide to never fail a build again

In Conclusion

Obviously the usual disclaimers about strenuous activity apply.  Probably don’t attempt this without consulting someone who is a trained medical professional.  Definitely don’t force other people to do this, that would make you a psychopath.

Will this end up in me being healthier?  I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me I actually suspect it’s more likely I’ll just find a new way of injuring myself.

Aren’t you just showing off how fit you are?  If you’re willing to assume I’m capable of keeping up with those build exercises, I’m willing to let you believe I’m showing off.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go rewrite my entire CI/CD pipeline so that it can never fail…

– Andy

PS – Because why wouldn’t I, here’s a simple calculator for the build workouts: http://andymale.com/build-body.html

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